One bonobo's view of the world...and stuff.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Lies my father told me

We have various pieces of lore in my household:
  • The object to the right is a bear's egg. Yup. An egg. From a bear.
  • The best course of action when pursued by a rhinoceros is to grab hold of its horn, very tight, with both hands and don't let go!
  • Special precautions need to be taken when eating custard creams. They are the most dangerous type of biscuit and should only be eaten under close supervision. 1
  • The way to tell the difference between a rabbit and hare is that one says 'bounce, bounce, bounce...' as it hops along wheras the other says 'boing, boing, boing...'
  • Babies fly around the room when nobody is looking.
  • There are three species of bird: chickens, ducks and pigeons. Flamingos, for example, are a tall kind of chicken.
It is, after all, important for children to learn not to trust their parents.

1 FACT: More biscuit related injuries are caused by custard creams than other types of biscuit!


the quiet one said...

Actually, I suspect the rhinoceros advice is sound. You will find that most of rhino victims who tried to grab hold of the beast's horn, despite your father's explicit warning, did let go.

Edward the Bonobo said...

Ah. Misunderstanding. These aren't from my dad. They're currently being passed on from me.

The title's a quote:

the quiet one said...

Eeer... The posting was addressed to your children?

I thought the title looked familiar, blush.

But it is still sound advice ;-)